Fertility Tip #979

Don't waste a beautiful summer day indoors, crying about infertility. 

If you do need to cry, at least have your emotional breakdown outdoors while enjoying the sunshine. Suggestions include: by the beach, at a pool party or while eating an extra large ice cream sundae. 

Fertility Tip #980

You will hear a lot of fertility advice from relatives including "Just relax and it will happen" and the ever popular "why don't you just adopt?" Your Great Aunt Agnes will also tell you that her cousin's sister's friend's hairdresser got pregnant after trying acupuncture. Feel free to close your eyes and pretend you're sleeping while they speak. It's okay to snore.

Fertility Tip #981

Cry about infertility in the shower. That way no one will notice when you have tears running down your face and you won't need to blow your nose as much. 

Other great places to cry about infertility: driving in the car while listening to a sappy song, at a wedding (the bride looks so beautiful, sob sob), or at your cousin's baby shower (everyone will think you're just happy for the expectant mom). 

Fertility Tip #982

The fertility drug, Estrace, will turn your urine blue. For some reasons, no one will inform you of this side effect and you will be quite surprised when you discover that you are peeing blue. So don't be alarmed if the entire cast of The Smurfs appear in your underpants.  

Fertility Tip #983

Mark Zuckerberg created Facebook to torture infertiles. It is now a place where your friends can complain about their pregnancy symptoms, post endless images of their ultrasounds and growing bellies, and daily photos of their children. He might want to rethink about naming it FertileBook. 

Fertility Tip #984

Don't talk about your cervical mucus over breakfast with your husband. Strangely, he doesn't want to hear about it while eating his eggs and toast.

Fertility Tip #985

If you have a fertility appointment on Mother's Day, it's completely normal to want to purchase flowers and chocolates for the transvaginal wand and the embryos that will one day make you a mother. 

Note: But don't expect to find a Hallmark greeting card for this type of occasion.