tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-61871205885618400762024-02-08T08:58:32.634-08:00999 FERTILITY TIPS Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187120588561840076.post-27187217774021596772013-07-14T09:52:00.001-07:002013-07-14T09:52:09.684-07:00Fertility Tip #979<span style="font-size: large;">Don't waste a beautiful summer day indoors, crying about infertility. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">If you do need to cry, at least have your emotional breakdown outdoors while enjoying the sunshine. Suggestions include: by the beach, at a pool party or while eating an extra large ice cream sundae. </span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187120588561840076.post-66968337544942187372013-05-21T17:58:00.000-07:002013-05-21T17:58:09.796-07:00Fertility Tip #980<span style="font-size: large;">You will hear a lot of fertility advice from relatives including "<i>Just relax and it will happen"</i> and the ever popular <i>"why don't you just adopt?" </i>Your Great Aunt Agnes will also tell you that her cousin's sister's friend's hairdresser got pregnant after trying acupuncture. Feel free to close your eyes and pretend you're sleeping while they speak. It's okay to snore. </span><br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187120588561840076.post-17404596003578702112013-05-14T03:56:00.001-07:002013-05-14T03:56:38.483-07:00Fertility Tip #981<span style="font-size: large;">Cry about infertility in the shower. That way no one will notice when you have tears running down your face and you won't need to blow your nose as much. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Other great places to cry about infertility: driving in the car while listening to a sappy song, at a wedding (the bride looks so beautiful, sob sob), or at your cousin's baby shower (everyone will think you're just happy for the expectant mom). </span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187120588561840076.post-56310420794840968252013-05-14T03:44:00.001-07:002013-05-14T03:44:16.354-07:00Fertility Tip #982 <span style="font-size: large;">The fertility drug, Estrace, will turn your urine blue. For some reasons, no one will inform you of this side effect and you will be quite surprised when you discover that you are peeing blue. So don't be alarmed if the entire cast of The Smurfs appear in your underpants. </span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187120588561840076.post-76559484336102065792013-05-14T03:39:00.002-07:002013-05-14T03:39:30.385-07:00Fertility Tip #983<span style="font-size: large;">Mark Zuckerberg created Facebook to torture infertiles. It is now a place where your friends can complain about their pregnancy symptoms, post endless images of their ultrasounds and growing bellies, and daily photos of their children. He might want to rethink about naming it FertileBook. </span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187120588561840076.post-33432273003041572952013-05-13T09:51:00.005-07:002013-05-13T09:51:54.731-07:00Fertility Tip #984<span style="font-size: large;">Don't talk about your cervical mucus over breakfast with your husband. Strangely, he doesn't want to hear about it while eating his eggs and toast. </span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187120588561840076.post-12846159464192990282013-05-10T08:47:00.002-07:002013-05-10T08:47:43.178-07:00Fertility Tip #985<span style="font-size: large;">If you have a fertility appointment on Mother's Day, it's completely normal to want to purchase flowers and chocolates for the transvaginal wand and the embryos that will one day make you a mother. </span><br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="font-size: large;">Note: But don't expect to find a Hallmark greeting card for this type of occasion. </span></i>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187120588561840076.post-90879701599395965992013-05-06T03:30:00.002-07:002013-05-06T03:30:48.458-07:00 Fertility Tip #986<span style="font-size: large;">Purchase toilet paper in bulk. You will spend a significant amount of time examining it, analyzing it and holding it up to the light in a dimly lit public bathroom. </span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187120588561840076.post-75682932228319339722013-05-02T06:35:00.003-07:002013-05-02T06:35:57.907-07:00Fertility Tip #987<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">Shave
your legs when seeing your fertility doctor. She probably doesn't care
but at least you'll feel better when she examines your lady parts with a
transvaginal wand.</span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187120588561840076.post-4870812604444269952013-05-01T08:09:00.000-07:002013-05-01T08:12:33.207-07:00Fertility Tip #988 <span style="font-size: large;">To maximize your chances of conceiving, reduce your coffee and caffeine intake. When you do end up getting your period, participate in the "screw-you" fertility diet which includes drinking excessive amounts of coffee and alcohol, and skip a folic acid pill or two. </span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187120588561840076.post-2768626981179684882013-05-01T08:03:00.004-07:002013-05-01T08:12:14.237-07:00Fertility Tip #989 <span style="font-size: large;">You can't walk into a Walmart without seeing a pregnant woman. Go to a bar instead and then ask your husband to do the shopping. </span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187120588561840076.post-49950688766127502092013-04-28T10:16:00.002-07:002013-05-01T08:12:02.063-07:00Fertility Tip #990<span style="font-size: large;">Buy pregnancy tests at the dollar store. You can purchase the expensive kind at a regular drugstore but when the test comes back negative, you will feel angry at yourself for spending the extra money. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">*Note to self: Even when you do purchase your pregnancy test at the dollar store and it comes back negative, you will probably think that the test is defective and end up buying the second test at the drugstore anyways. </span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187120588561840076.post-12233708322896003402013-04-25T17:45:00.001-07:002013-05-01T08:11:18.119-07:00Fertility Tip #991<span style="font-size: large;">If you need to cry about infertility, don't have your emotional breakdown at your workplace. You never know when you're going to be on an episode of Undercover Boss.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187120588561840076.post-3362783534036771302013-04-25T11:13:00.001-07:002013-04-25T11:13:31.971-07:00Fertility Tip #992 <span class="st"><span style="font-size: large;">When trying to conceive, try to relax, eat healthy and minimize stress. When that doesn't work, buy a bottle of alcohol, a package of cookies and a chocolate bar, and enjoy a night of drinking and unhealthy eating. Either way, you are not pregnant yet and option 2 is just more fun. </span></span> Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187120588561840076.post-40059936168073170442013-04-24T13:31:00.001-07:002013-04-24T17:29:12.415-07:00Fertility Tip #993 <span style="font-size: large;">During the IVF process, you will have to inject needles in your belly or leg on a daily basis. To make the process more enjoyable, try injecting your needle at a fun location such as at a movie theater, your cousin Martha's wedding or in the bathroom stall at an expensive restaurant. </span> Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187120588561840076.post-90335048745790688292013-04-24T13:27:00.002-07:002013-04-24T17:34:08.914-07:00Fertility Tip #994<span style="font-size: large;">Wear cool socks at your next fertility appointment. That way, when the Fertility Doctor examines your lady parts, she can also say, "<i>Wow. I really like your socks,</i>" and you will feel happy by the unexpected compliment. </span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187120588561840076.post-41202964300522500162013-04-24T13:26:00.000-07:002013-04-24T17:29:53.019-07:00Fertility Tip #995 <span style="font-size: large;">The longer you try to conceive, the more likely your 18 year old cousin will announce her surprise pregnancy at the next family dinner. </span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187120588561840076.post-18371794111280972452013-04-24T13:21:00.000-07:002013-04-24T17:30:01.058-07:00Fertility Tip #996 <span style="font-size: large;">During your two week wait, you will probably experience some, if not all, pregnancy symptoms. The second you allow yourself to believe that you might be pregnant, you will get your period.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>*Note: Your period will likely arrive during your cousin's baby shower. </i></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187120588561840076.post-86433597592897165892013-04-24T13:08:00.001-07:002013-04-24T17:35:17.281-07:00Fertility Tip #997 <span style="font-size: large;">To maximize your chances of conceiving, chart your basal temperature every morning at the same time.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">...And as soon as your temperature begins to drop, quickly run the thermometer under hot water and stick it back in your month. </span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187120588561840076.post-63167958446351146742013-04-24T13:07:00.002-07:002013-04-24T13:07:24.349-07:00Fertility Tip #998<span style="font-size: large;">To maximize your chances of conceiving, have intercourse during your peak ovulation period.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">....When that doesn't work, spend thousands of dollars on fertility treatments, go for daily transvaginal appointments and then cry about infertility in a public place. </span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187120588561840076.post-77597085887813903532013-04-24T12:54:00.003-07:002013-04-24T12:54:41.038-07:00Fertility Tip #999 <span style="font-size: large;">If your great aunt Edna says, <i>"Just relax and it will happen</i>," it's perfectly acceptable to throw potato salad directly in her face. </span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0